Not even a year after the accident, for the first time ever, I sorted through pictures, cards, letters, newspaper clippings, and made a scrapbook from what my mom, dad, various family members, friends, and the community saved during my time in the hospital. During this time that I put this book together, I don't recall ever being as impacted by what my sisters, our friend and myself have lived through until tonight.
I have been on this cleaning and organizing fit for the past week or two. Cleaning out the clutter from my room, and trying to make it more workable through these next two years of school. My room before all you could do is walk in and sit on my bed. If you tried to do anything else, you may trip over a shoe, book, binder, art things (i.e. paints, brushes, canvases, etc), or my big 6' easel. Tonight I took on my closet... Not the clothes, or the things on the floor (2 drawer file cabinet, or the two "connect-a-drawer" things on wheels, even the luggage and bed-in-a-bag in the opposite corner of it all), I'm talking about the two shelves on the top of it all.
Here I found all of my past portfolio submissions for "Teacher's pick," past art projects for various classes (some amazing and stopping me for a second to question if I really did that - and yes I did do them, and then some not so good pieces...), two and a half scrapbook boxes of NUMEROUS things from the accident in '98, a scrapbook that my mom had started for me back in 1992 (yes friends I at one point in time sported the much laughed about today.... mullet & there's proof in this book), to my numerous towels I have (this closet acts as my linen closet too), and my big box of purses (and old HP paper box that held like 10 reams of paper at one point in time).
Getting down the scrapbook boxes and going through them took me about three hours, and countless tears at the support of not only family and friends, but the out pour of love from the community, surrounding schools (and their administrators), to businesses, church groups, and organizations.
In going through a box I found numerous.... but on a much larger scale.... letters of "Get well" wishes, and "I'm praying for you" from my peers at school. Though I'd love to list them all, there is just way too many to do so. But there were a few that totally grabbed my heart and made me swell up with so much gratitude that I had to list them here:
Fontaine, you a really sweet girl, who I know will make it through this! You're a very strong person, who always has a positive out look on life! Everyone here is pulling for you, your sisters, and your friend! You have a beautiful voice, we miss you in Choraliers! Stay Strong! And remember, God is with you! Never forget that!! God works in mysterious ways! But you'll pull through.
Love, Bobbie Malarkey
*Come back and keep me company in Choraliers*
and
Dear Fontaine, Sabrina, Markita, and Savannah;
The thing that happen in life happen for a reason, a reason which we may never know. There is good that comes from this situation. It proves that you can survive. While the battle is still being fought, a small victory is won.
To Mr. and Mrs. Selby,
Keep faith in your girls' strength. All any of us can do is hope and pray. I have known Fontaine since I was a freshman. In that time I have rarely seen her without a smile on her face and a sparkle in her eyes. The question of "if your daughter will pull through" has already been answered. She will. She will and she will go on to dreams bigger than anything I ever could achieve.
Chris Lanham
To some really sweet cards, especially this one from my youngest brother:
A picture of a good friend, Stephanie, at the Ronald McDonald house. In the picture with her are my dad and Tim laying on the bed:
To a news paper article that quotes me saying;
Sometimes I feel like I am living a nightmare, and I am hoping that some will come and wake me up, but nobody ever does. So then I keep hoping my alarm clock will go off, but it never does. - Christmas Eve '98
And:
"One night, when I was really scared, scared I would never walk again, I felt the presence of the Lord. And he told me that I would walk again"
It continues:
And she is. Fontaine has begun to take steps, albeit with a limp and needing help from others. Doctors believe she will again walk normally. She should be back in school by January, '99.
In this article it talks about how my mom was trying to figure out how she was going to purchase a new pair of glasses for one of us girls (I have a hunch it was for Savannah) because they were smashed in the accident and mom had received a card in the mail simply signed "A friend in Christ" and contained a $100 bill. The article goes on to quote my mom:
"When I feel like I can't take another step, someone does something like that. It really keeps you in the Christmas spirit. We have had to lean on faith. When everything was pointing against us, we had to have faith."
I miss my mom, but I'm so very grateful that I was able to have her as my mom for the 20 years of my life that she was on this Earth. I'm as well, grateful for all of my family and friends. Without any of you I would not be the person I am today! Thank you all for the encouragement and reminders that God is in control of it all, and the battle that we fought was already won yet we were still in the midst of fighting it!! You all were soldiers fighting along side with us girls and our family's!!!! Thank you!!!
