Time flies when you're not paying attention

As I sit here now, I'm just waiting for my laundry to finish drying. What took place earlier though was an emotional three hours of sorting through, reading, reminiscing the stages of what not only myself, but my two sisters, and a family friend endured, coming up on now 15 years ago.

Not even a year after the accident, for the first time ever, I sorted through pictures, cards, letters, newspaper clippings, and made a scrapbook from what my mom, dad, various family members, friends, and the community saved during my time in the hospital. During this time that I put this book together, I don't recall ever being as impacted by what my sisters, our friend and myself have lived through until tonight.

I have been on this cleaning and organizing fit for the past week or two. Cleaning out the clutter from my room, and trying to make it more workable through these next two years of school. My room before all you could do is walk in and sit on my bed. If you tried to do anything else, you may trip over a shoe, book, binder, art things (i.e. paints, brushes, canvases, etc), or my big 6' easel. Tonight I took on my closet... Not the clothes, or the things on the floor (2 drawer file cabinet, or the two "connect-a-drawer" things on wheels, even the luggage and bed-in-a-bag in the opposite corner of it all), I'm talking about the two shelves on the top of it all.

Here I found all of my past portfolio submissions for "Teacher's pick," past art projects for various classes (some amazing and stopping me for a second to question if I really did that - and yes I did do them, and then some not so good pieces...), two and a half scrapbook boxes of NUMEROUS things from the accident in '98, a scrapbook that my mom had started for me back in 1992 (yes friends I at one point in time sported the much laughed about today.... mullet & there's proof in this book), to my numerous towels I have (this closet acts as my linen closet too), and my big box of purses (and old HP paper box that held like 10 reams of paper at one point in time).

Getting down the scrapbook boxes and going through them took me about three hours, and countless tears at the support of not only family and friends, but the out pour of love from the community, surrounding schools (and their administrators), to businesses, church groups, and organizations.

In going through a box I found numerous.... but on a much larger scale.... letters of "Get well" wishes, and "I'm praying for you" from my peers at school. Though I'd love to list them all, there is just way too many to do so. But there were a few that totally grabbed my heart and made me swell up with so much gratitude that I had to list them here:

 Fontaine, you a really sweet girl, who I know will make it through this! You're a very strong person, who always has a positive out look on life! Everyone here is pulling for you, your sisters, and your friend! You have a beautiful voice, we miss you in Choraliers! Stay Strong! And remember, God is with you! Never forget that!! God works in mysterious ways! But you'll pull through.
Love, Bobbie Malarkey
*Come back and keep me company in Choraliers*

and

Dear Fontaine, Sabrina, Markita, and Savannah;
The thing that happen in life happen for a reason, a reason which we may never know. There is good that comes from this situation. It proves that you can survive. While the battle is still being fought, a small victory is won.

To Mr. and Mrs. Selby,
Keep faith in your girls' strength. All any of us can do is hope and pray. I have known Fontaine since I was a freshman. In that time I have rarely seen her without a smile on her face and a sparkle in her eyes. The question of "if your daughter will pull through" has already been answered. She will. She will and she will go on to dreams bigger than anything I ever could achieve.
Chris Lanham

To some really sweet cards, especially this one from my youngest brother:

A picture of a good friend, Stephanie, at the Ronald McDonald house. In the picture with her are my dad and Tim laying on the bed:

To a news paper article that quotes me saying;

Sometimes I feel like I am living a nightmare, and I am hoping that some will come and wake me up, but nobody ever does. So then I keep hoping my alarm clock will go off, but it never does. - Christmas Eve '98

And:

"One night, when I was really scared, scared I would never walk again, I felt the presence of the Lord. And he told me that I would walk again" 

It continues:

And she is. Fontaine has begun to take steps, albeit with a limp and needing help from others. Doctors believe she will again walk normally. She should be back in school by January, '99. 

In this article it talks about how my mom was trying to figure out how she was going to purchase a new pair of glasses for one of us girls (I have a hunch it was for Savannah) because they were smashed in the accident and mom had received a card in the mail simply signed "A friend in Christ" and contained a $100 bill.  The article goes on to quote my mom:

"When I feel like I can't take another step, someone does something like that. It really keeps you in the Christmas spirit. We have had to lean on faith. When everything was pointing against us, we had to have faith."

I miss my mom, but I'm so very grateful that I was able to have her as my mom for the 20 years of my life that she was on this Earth. I'm as well, grateful for all of my family and friends. Without any of you I would not be the person I am today! Thank you all for the encouragement and reminders that God is in control of it all, and the battle that we fought was already won yet we were still in the midst of fighting it!! You all were soldiers fighting along side with us girls and our family's!!!! Thank you!!!

Left arm fallen off yet?

So, my good 'ol left arm.... My half human half bionic arm....

Caused me so much drama and goodness PAIN for something like 3 weeks!!! Pain that would seriously stop me in my foot steps, take the breath right out of me, and pretty much lay me flat out in a total complete trance of pain.  After playing phone tag with University of Cincinnati Hospital for 2 of the 3 weeks, I finally received paper work in the mail requesting proof of insurance or even income before they would even schedule an appointment to see me. Note: this is the hospital that installed the hardware that my body currently has in it, and yet they have NO record of ever putting it in my body? Odd? 

Well Sunday July 14th one of my student's from my classroom at work invited me to attend his church with him and his mom, needless to say I went. Arm still hurting just as bad, and still stoping me in my steps when it would elevate (as it did should I use my left arm in any manner). I tried as much as I could not to use it.... but yet driving my car was still a challenge for me, but I managed to do it with little pain. 

After church with my student and lunch, on my way back to Oxford I swung into the Home Depot to see about getting some of their freight boxes for my classroom project, "Box City." I stopped at the customer service desk and talked to a guy name Todd. Just matter of fact asking him when they got truck, and if they could save me about 16 large boxes off of it. He told me that they usually immediately crush them for recycling. Stooped, I simply ask if they could just save me 16.... thinking it wouldn't be that hard. He then asked me "How many boxes are you needing?" Just telling him 16 when I asked him if they could save a few for me, I replied quietly "only 16." He asked me to follow him to a flat that was stacked about 3 feet high with brand new boxes. He asked me to wait a minute so he could go get a flat bed to stack 16 boxes on. He gave me 17 brand new packing boxes right then and there, they cost about $3.50 a piece. As well he helped me get all 17 in my little tiny Sunfire. Let's just say that I couldn't see out of my rear view mirror and my passenger side mirror for the entire rest of the weekend. 

On my way back into Oxford, to the home I'm staying at (until the end of this week), I pass buy my dear friends from church Jeff and Becky Maglich and see that their front door is opened. Ecstatic that I just got all of these brand new boxes for my kids at work, I wanted to share the news. Home Depot has been FABULOUS to The Goddard School of Fairfield!!! They've given us everything for our Goddard Garden (the raised bed, the 20 bags of soil to fill it, seeds and plants of fruit and veggies, as well as shovels, rakes, and paint stirs to label the growing plants with) but they just pretty much helped me out with our Box City art project, that will allow the older kids to play with the younger toddlers (this way diversifying their learning experiences for both/all age groups) buy supplying us with the most expensive/biggest part of this project!!!

While there we are talking about everything, Jeff is amazed at "how much favor I have" in my job. I could list everything but I'm not going too... that's for him to do not me. We talked about Mazatlán and the prospects that are being offered with this amazing opportunity and how everything is looking for and with that. I then expressed concern about my arm and not being able to do ANYTHING because of the pain.  We prayed over everything, my classroom at work and the wonderful things happening there, Mazatlán and everything that has to do with that (support through prayers and financial means, getting there in September, next summer's possible internship, etc), and my good 'ol left arm.

Since that moment of prayer.... MY ARM HAS NOT HURT AT ALL!!! I can do anything/everything with it!!!! It's been that way for a little over a week now (9 days), not that I'm expecting it to start hurting again. But I'm elated that it's not hurting!!!! God you so totally rock dude!!!!