@1:15 AM

My heart is aflutter.... My mind is set
His Plans have been written

Here I sit in my Spanish professor's home, house/puppy dog sitting while she and her fam is away on vaca. My mind should be at rest and my body sound asleep, because normally by now I'd be lost in dream world. I thought I be well on my way by now, at least I've felt that way since my foot has met the thresh hold of the house. And when I "went" to bed at 9:30 PM I was one food in the bed, and one still in my clothes from the day. 

But my guess, there are things running though my mind, and on my heart. So here I am, one could say "unloading." I would say that I'm writing my thoughts and prayers. 

Back in July 2006, I was hired as a graphic designer/cartographer (one that draws maps) for a company, Mass Marketing, in Fairfield, Ohio. My first job as a graphic design job since graduating from The School of Advertising Art in May of 2005. During my two years at this job, I grew SOOO much. Not just as a graphic designer, but as a Christian. 

In June 2007 I did my first mission trip out of the United States (not just out of the state) to Casa Bernabe Orphanage in Guatemala City, Guatemala, C.A. Since this was my first experience, and first sight of what it means to without - I honestly was out of my element and was just going through the motions, and the doing while I was here. I didn't make those lasting, heart to heart, connections with not only the children but with the culture of Guatemala. I worked hard at the many tasks that were being done on the grounds of the orphanage. I did play with the kids, and talk with the house parents, but what I think let get in my way of truly embracing the heart of the culture and the people; most of all the children, was myself.  

When I went again the following summer in 2008, I made sure that I wasn't about the "doing" and that I was more about the "being" and firmly, whole heartedly laying myself out to love on the children and take on more responsibility when caring for one of the homes (I believe they have 7-9 homes with different age groups on the campus) and children. I was "doing" but while I was in the mist of the "doing" I was as well "being"... Being available to love, to serve in what ever capacity needed, to open my heart and take my shield down from what ever fear held me back before. 

When I did this I believe I got the true meaning of what it means to serve. Reckless abandon comes to mind, meaning "without care or regard for consequences," as well as Crazy Love or "Overwhelmed by a Relentless God." And you could say that I've been "bitten" (no not in the vampire "Twilight" way), but in the way that my heart yearns to keep on serving those I can and where I am able too. To be honest with myself, with those that I serve and whom I love with all my heart; it would have happened if the company hadn't of sponsored part of my 2007 and 2008 trips, but as well, and I believe most importantly, if I hadn't have been let go by this company two days before I was to leave for my 2008 trip. I am almost positive that if I was still employed here I would have missed out on my true calling, and perfect opportunity to hear boldly from God what my real purpose is. I would have missed out of going back to college, having to start 100% over in my studies (no I'm not complaining), I would have missed out on making the professional connections not only with my professors, but with faulty of schools where I've had practicum work to do for different courses, having my current job at The Goddard School, even being where I am mentally and spiritually today. As well, I'm sure, many many many more reasons to list here but it's going on 2 AM so I'm afraid I can't list all now... :o/ 

No offense to Mass Marketing and the contact and the connections I've made there, but thank you for letting me go when you did. It allowed me to grow more than I could have seen then. Not only did I learn SO MUCH within the two days before I left, but it left me (this is good I promise) without a job when I returned home and on a "job hunt" again. Which solely lead me to work as an E.S.E.A. Highly Qualified Paraprofessional Substitute in not just one school district but in 4 different school districts. This ultimately is what helped me make up my mind to go back to school to obtain my licensure in Special Education. 

As it says in Proverbs 16:9 "We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps."  He knew my heart's inner most desire way before I even knew what my heart was saying. I guess that's why I changed my major 3 different times in one year to end up back with my first declared major, Special Education? 

My prayer for this up coming mission (in September) is that the Lord will may straight the path so that I may raise the funds to be apart of the team that is going down to Mazatlán, Mexico to work with the children with special needs of this home/orphanage and Back2Back Ministries, as well that I can apply for the 1-2 month internship next summer and pay for the funds for it as well. 

Flights, dates, times, and to where? MAZATLAN, MEXICO!!!

¡Hola! ¿Cómo hacen ustedes todos esta hermosa de domingo? 
(Translation: Hello! How are you all doing this beautiful Sunday?)

So less than 24 hours to go before my "set" deadline to have everything in order... actually set. Not to be freaking out or anything.... but I have a few friends say that they will help me on my quest to Mazatlán, Mexico. I'm still walking in faith that the Lord will provide a way, path, and the means of travel for this mission He's placed me on. I'm not.... er.... correction I'm going to try not to let things get too me still not knowing which what is what, or how things are going to come about.

I figure this blog post can inform my prayer worrier friends and family about some of the specifics. So you know what to pray for, how to pray, and what is still yet needed (which where I sit now.... EVERYTHING - talk about walking by faith, right?). Let's start by showing  ya'll where Mazatlán  Mexico actually is. It's on the West cost, Northwest of Mexico City on the Pacific Ocean. 

And is about 8 and a half hours Southwest from Monterrey, Mexico

In the upper right corner of this picture is SanAntonio, TX.

Now some of the actual numbers. For 7 days of serving (not including flight costs) it is $675. This covers everything from food, housing, to projects.

I've been looking into flights since I got home from church today. WOW!!!! CVG is EXPENSIVE to fly out of!!!! I'm just going to say that one of the flights that I can even begin to look at has an 8 hour travel time and it's $987's starting out. I looked into other closer airports: Dayton, OH and Indianapolis, IN. The fares seem more reasonable (but that's just my opinion). 

Flying out of Dayton International Airport:
      US Airways Flight 424/2896 - Leaves at 6:45 AM and arrives in Mazatlán, MX at 12:10 PM and has one stop in Dallas, TX (Connection time of 2 hrs and 40 min) - total travel time of 7 hours and 25 minutes

Flying home
       US Airways Flight 2896/1658 Leaves at 12:50 PM and arrives in Dayton at 11:10 PM. There is a connection time but I didn't list it.

                Flight Break down Costs:
                    $625 - Fare
                 + $140 - Taxes + Airline fees
     Equals = $765

Flying out of Indianapolis, IN Airport (IND):  
         American Airlines Flight 579/2896 - Leaves at 7:25 AM and arrives in Mazatlán, MX at 12:10 PM and has one stop in Dallas, TX (Connection time of 2 hours) - Total travel time of 6 hours and 45 minutes **There are only  3 seats left available on this flight**

Flying home
         American Airlines Flight 2896/1798 Leaves at 12:50 PM and arrives in Indianapolis, IN at 11:10 PM. With a connection time of 3 hours and 35 minutes in Dallas, TX. 

                   Flight Break down Costs:
                      $488 - Fare
                      $140 - Taxes + Airline fees
        Equals = $628

As well, when I was at WalMart in Oxford today getting lunch things for work this next week I stopped the manager to see if they would be willing to donate art Supplies because when I get down there and if able I would love to do little art projects with them, if given the time. This includes painting (w/acrylics or watercolors), drawing/coloring, and many other artistic things that one can do with some supplies if given them. 

I'm still planning as if I am going. I'm just waiting on the Lord to move everything to give me the green light. I would LOVE to purchase my airline ticket tomorrow, but as it sits right now I'm not sure if I can do that? Prayer Worriers PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PRAY for me in this circumstance. 

Adiós y gracias!

It was a clear as day (with no rain) message to me

This past Friday my plans were really scattered. Last Sunday at church David Maynard, the owner of the campground "Pleasant Vineyard Ministries," made an announcement about an art retreat going on this weekend at the camp. They had something like this like 2 years ago, I remember that I wanted to attend it then too, but was unable to do so. So I approached him about attending this weekend.... Long story short... I did go.

But that isn't the odd... ok not odd. Let's say SLAP in my face, telling me that I should go. All day I had been bouncing back and forth, then juggling a bunch of ideas for "Friday night festivities." In the forefront of my mind was this retreat, but then the fact that I had NOTHING packed... clothes, bedding,  bathroom materials, as well as my acrylic art supplies; including brushes, paper towels, etc. As well, I needed to find a book that I was willing to turn it into something different. So I guessed, or "made my mind up not to go" (because I wasn't ready to go). Kinda bummed, I had settled on going to small group that's on Friday nights, because I hadn't been in at least 2 months (school reasons, and lack of cash for gas). But then something really odd happend, or should I say devine. My last friend (student) left at like 4:30, and I spent like 30-45 minutes closing my room. I even double checked things TWICE. So I clocked out at like 5:15 PM. So I made a phone call to my friend David to see if everything was still standing with his offer to me.

I had time to go home, change my shirt, and I grabbed three books: Crazy Love, and my two books of poetry that I've written in over the past 5 years. In the back of my mind I really didn't want to take apart these two books, but I grabbed them any way.

Going to the camp, turns out that it's only like 10 minutes from my house!! So I actually got there at like 6:30ish. How can I say that I wasn't ment to be there?

The name of this retreat was: Spiritual Awakenings; A Creativity Retreat

When I got there during the time when Trisha McKinney was giving us the run down on what exactly we'd be doing, I really realized I did not want to do what was being talked about doing to our books. Everybody else had books that were hard-backed, had thick pages, etc... I then realized that I did have a book that I could use. It was the Beth Moore book Living Free. I had this book in the trunk of my car right after I graduated from SAA. So we are talking that it's been in my car's trunk for like 7 years.

While everyone else was prepping their books/pages; I was taking everything out of my trunk to find this book. In the midst of my search I started have a little freak out attack because it wasn't exactly where I thought I had seen it last. It was under the "fold" out seat that I won from the American Heart Association's "Walk-a-thon."

Since I didn't have anything else with me so all I did was just prep for actually painting the next day.

This was the name tage that Trisha made for us:

Now I didn't get the entire book completed. But I did get a few pages finished, as well as I got a good head start on 3 other pages.

This is the cover:

These next two pieces are on both sides of the book. As well I've covered all the words except for 7: "Ministry, Guiding believers, God, I will, Pray, Abundant Life."

As well in my gesso that I painted as my base I wrote in the wet paint, on the right side; "We are" & the left side; "Forever love."

The next one I actually cut from the book as a free piece of paper. I reenforced the page with a thicker piece of paper and covered one side in gesso. I attempted so much with this paper, and I never liked what it came out to be. This being said, this piece was actually my first attempted at this new style of painting.  It's still not finished. But you can see what it is now. I originally had a lot of words picked out for this page. But now there is only one word that, technically, not painted, but it accidentally kinda is, "Relying." 

This next one came out, I think rather, cool! The main idea of this page was "Strongholds." The title pf this page in the book was, "Demolishing Strongholds" and I liked it, so I kept it. A well, "A Mighty Fortress, Strong, Did not have to be afraid." And scripture, "With my lips I recount all the laws that come from your mouth" and "The Lord is my light... whom shall I be afraid."

The next one I used leaves on, Halloween Spider Webbing (which I took off when it was dry), tape used for drywalling (it has tiny holes in it, I don't know what it's called exactly), and wrote in the we gesso "Your my all and all" (and I just realized that's poor grammer.... crap). The words I left visible  "Belief, Believer, and Holy Spirit"

This next one may or may not be competed? I'm not exactly sure... but the words that I left unpainted are: "Trustworthy and relationship"

The last two pages that I started are not finished :o(
But I think they look pretty good so far! These two pages are actually in the book where as the last 3 I actually cut/ripped out of the book.
The words that are in these two pages are: "Purpose, Jesus, love, and happy" on page 1st

Then on the 2nd page: "Promising, determination, powerful, and Hallelujah."

What I found very interesting was the fact that the word that I got for this retreat was "Purpose." I have a feeling that I'm suppose to get back to my painting?

Oh I want too.... so badly. But the time right now that I do have... or not is completely soaked up by work, school, and homework. Speaking of which I have two pages to write for my MTH 116 A class group data analysis by tomorrow night (need to be DONE.... ready to merge with my groups corresponding 4 pages). BLAH.... ARGH.... freaking out a bit.... BLAH.....

I haven't felt centered, relaxed, able to totally be one with the Father for a while!!! I SO NEEDED THESE PAST TWO DAYS!!!! That word "Purpose" to me means that I am where I am suppose to be. That God has a devine purpose for this specific time in my life. And all the aggravation that I deal with pertaining to my course work, scheduling test times with both ODR and my job, tutoring (for SPN 101), meeting up with Butler Co. Disability Services (to see about help with costs of school), and an entire variety of other things; it all has meaning. I need to slow down and savor each step, test, discussion (with any one about anything), and take in every little thing (Color, tone (musical or not), emotion, experience).