Running inside my brain x2 - Dedication worries voiced

For those who have been following my blogs about my painting know that it is finished now. It's 100% finished.... it's now framed and ready to be hung on my church's wall! I'm so excited about this as well!!

Well, they are having a night of dedication or a sort of unveiling for it. I haven't made a facebook invite because I want this to be kept small and very intimate night of giving thanks to Abba for what he has done in our life. I've only printed a handful of invitations that went to dear family & friends, some pastors who've had a positive impact on my Christian walk, and some of my art mentors who have had a hand in helping me become more creative. As well, the invitation is open to my church members.

It will consist of worship lead by my friend Jim, his acoustic guitar (3 or 4 songs broken down), and myself. Prayer is totally going to happen, and I'm going to be talking a little bit about the illustration itself. Where I was (emotionally) when I started it, what happened before I started, and how God had his hand in every stroke I did while I was painting. I'm going to speak about how I've grown more in love with his love and his gifts that He so freely gives to us. I'm going to talk about the next piece that I am going to get started on. This will probably started at the beginning of summer.... I'm waiting on God for the specifics of when I should move.

So what's the worry? Well, I have passed/mailed all but a few invitations out and only one person has responded telling me that they will be there. On the other hand I have had a bunch of other people tell me flat out that they won't be there. And more or less should have consulted them when I was thinking about the date and time. 

This isn't about who I can get there, or want to be shown support or anything. It's about God first and foremost. I wanted to share what has been coming together over the past year, as well as fellowship. Some of the people who I have invited I haven't seen in a very long time, and I will admit, it will be nice to see them again. Everyone that I have invited has had an impact on me in some way shape and form, as well good, bad, and indifferent. 

I have to be honest. I seriously expecting few to show.... because it seems that happens whenever I "try" to plan something those that I invite tend to not show, no matter what the invitation. It would feel nice to have that affirmation from people I consider to be close to me. PLEASE do not think that this is a sort of pity party... I've been fighting off these things for quite sometime now... and I can't contain them any longer. 

I know that who shows to this dedication is suppose to be there.... I just need to let go and let God. I'm worried about it... stressed about it... and wondering what's going to happen at it. I guess you can say that I'm trying to control it, and that's not good.