Decisions.... Opportunities..... Wonders of the Lord

I feel extremely overwhelmed at the current moment! But really the word "overwhelmed" is pretty much an understatement. I feel pulled, and from where I am... sit... view things... it's not bad.... it's really good. The bad part of if is timing, and the lack of funds. The lack of funds has me upset really. The desire is HUGE!!!!! But reality pretty much squashes my desire. :o(  Don't read this as me putting my AMAZING Abba in " "'s or in ( )'s, because I am not by any means. As well, I know that God is pretty infamous about working in unrealistic ways and making everything happen... in His time. God has done it before, 2x's before actually!!! Both of my trips to Guatemala were fully funded, passport included!!!

Towards the end of last month I just felt completely racked with thoughts of "what's next" for me. I know for a fact that sometime between August 27th (next month) and two years from that point in time I'll be coming into a little over $4,000's. I have given it some serious consideration about what I want to do with it... Take a really lavish vacation... that would unfortunately be by myself (just calling it as I see it right now), or put it to more practical use; go on a internship/mission trip. Out of the two I'm seriously decided on the mission trip. It just seems like a better choice for myself, and it so totally fits my style. I don't want to go on a lavish vacation and have NO ONE to experience it with.... boring!!!! I'm about community, fellowship, and service to others, and sharing in the moments of life with others, I always have been.

On Wednesday, June26th in the last hour of the day I emailed my friend who works down in Monterey, Mexico with Back2Back Ministries this message.

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  11:25pm
  

  Fontaine Selby
  

  
  

  Hola Hope!!!
  

  So I've been tossing things around in my head for the past two weeks.... & the things tossing in my mind is mission work. Next summer I'd love to volunteer my time (about a month... maybe longer?) to one of two ministries; Casa Bernabe Orphanage in Guatemala or with you in Monterey, helping to teach kids. More specifically in Art Education. Its a little Weird to have this prompting.... Never had it or one before? And it being so specific, as it is? I know where to start... Before The Lord and seeking His guidance. But I guess my question to you... Do you guys even allow that for the 10+ ages? If so, how can I start the ball rolling (so to speak)? I know the supplies aren't cheap, especially if I can do what is love to do/share with the youth if given that chance. However, I know I have some money coming towards me within the next year (maybe sooner) or so & I could get things donated (or $$ to purchase it where ever God sends me). Can you help me search through this? I'm confused and yet really extremely excited.

Really pretty much an unprompted message to her. My thoughts were still pretty scattered, and nothing yet clear in my mind. Hope responded to my message:

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  1:10pm
  

  Hope Maglich Garcia
  

  
  

  Hey Fontaine!
  I love what God is doing in your heart. We do offer internships during the summer months down here in B2B. It is the kind of thing where you would come and help us with the visiting missions teams that come down during the months of June and July. I can't guarantee that you would only do art ed stuff, but I'm sure you could incorporate it in with other activities. To intern with B2B you have to first come on a mission trip to visit us. So that would be the first step for you. If you are interested in this you can contact Chelsie Puterbaugh in our b2b home office. She could help hook you up with a mission team for a trip down. Her e-mail is: cputerbaugh@back2back.org

Now I have a starting point, a place to make actual concrete thoughts and form a real plan and purpose!!  So I sent an email to Chelsie soon after I got the contact from Hope. At the time that I sent her the email she was actually in Mexico at B2B, so I got an "I'm out of the office" response. In my email to her about myself, my work down in Guatemala, my endeavors now-in my studies at Miami for Special Education, where I work and the ages I work with, and so on.

I received an email back from Chelsie today:

Hi Fontaine!

Thank you for your email and sharing a bit about yourself.  

Just a little fact - in Mazatlan, MX we serve with a children's home where all of the children have special needs - either physically, mentally, or both.  

Check out our website to see pictures:  https://www.facebook.com/b2bmazatlan?fref=ts

It is a very special site and home.  I wanted to throw that out there because you said that you are a special education major :)

Thankfully, we have trips year round!  So, I would look into taking a trip with us some time this fall.  Applications are due by the end of October and we make decisions by the end of November into December.  

Chris Ramos is the man that you will receive your application from: cramos@back2back.org.

Could you come on a trip even this summer? Any dates in July available? Our last week is July 27 - August 2nd. 

Would that work? 

Let me know! 

Thanks, I look forward to hearing from you :)

Chelsie

So what now? I haven't got a clue!!!! I'm to house sit for my SPN professor June 8th or 9th through I think the 28th or 29th (I'm not 100% sure when it stops?). When I read her message about having a children's home with children having special needs my heart about leaped out of my chest!!!! Then reality smacking me in the face!!! Then I heard a still small voice in my heart and my head, "Don't put me in a box Fontaine." Then my head started thinking about numbers, cost of getting down there, cost of room and board, cost of hours lost at work (I'm not full time, I have not holiday pay or PTO), finding coverage at work for a week.... and the list goes on......

I would LOVE to full take this opportunity that is infront of me at the moment. And plan for this short term mission trip to go and love on these kids, and serve them when and where they need it. But from where I sit right now... I haven't got a penny to even put this into any kind of action. The flights alone starts at $723 from Cincinnati and $673 from Dayton. I don't even have a clue how much room and board is on the campus there?

Oh Heavenly Abba PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE provide me some clarity, guidance, and direction. If I am to go July 27th through August 2nd make my path straight infront of me. Provide me with the confidence that this is what I am to do, and to provide me with the funds and the coverage at work so it leaves no one lacking need for anything.

I could cry I'm so happy to have this technically offered, but scared that it may not happen?