Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Mental Noting in My Brain

Okay so Thanksgiving is coming in like.... TWO days!!!!

18.31 lb Turkey - Bought
Fixings for: Cheese cake and Green Bean Casserole - Bought

Making tomorrow the cheese cakes and casserole and Mr Turkey Thursday morning (he's going in the oven)

Homework to complete over break:

EDT 256e - prepare for my group's "Teach the class" on Autism (11/28)
Write 3-5 pg paper from my field work (due 11/28)

EDT 182 - Research on Jupiter for group project
Moon observation(s) sheet

MTH 115 - STUDY FOR TEST ON THURSDAY DECEMBER 1ST
Homework in book and finish lab

ENG 112 - Painting for Project 5 (Final)
Write Journal #6 and Journal #10

I need to remember.... One thing at a time!!!!

I'm hoping to get started on my EDT paper while Mr. Turkey is cooking since I'll be up. I know one thing, that paper will be a little hard to write b/c of the dialects and cultural differences that will play into the child that I'm writing about's over all demeanor. Then again, I've dealt with worse... since my parents' were special needs foster parents for children and I have worked in school districts with kids with similar problems.

My ENG illustration is already started.... I just need to crank it out for this class. I will have to put the illustration that is on my easel on my bed while I'm working on this. Thank God the paint that is done on it is dry. It shouldn't take me long to finish (or so I pray).

MTH and EDT.... more/so busy work that can be worked on through daily, reviewing, researching, working on/through....

Finals in about 3 weeks....joy.....

Saturday, November 12, 2011

FREAKING OUT!!! 1 month from today

Okay so it's officially not official as of yet but will be officially official in ONE MONTH from today. I join the group of 30 yr old age decade. Today I realized that I think that I'm freaking out because I've always envisioned myself being so much further along in my life {i.e. married, stable career, maybe had one child, in a house of my own with a garage for my car} but none of that has even started to happen, at least not that I can see as of yet.

I expressed some of my concerns with some of my amazing friends this morning at the Good Sam Run and my friend Mike suggested that I write my "birthday" list.... Now I have to admit that I haven't written this kind of list in a very long time.... I think the last time that I did I still believed in Santa.

I think one of the things that I really want is to be surrounded by the friends who I love. But I've tried to coordinate something like that before (like twice) and I don't want to have to "coordinate" something for myself. It just seems... um... too... forced or inwardly focused. That is not me (though some of the negative people that are unfortunately in my life may think differently). I'm just thinking and feeling like I am asking too much?

Some physical things that I could really use....

Since I've lost like 15 lbs.... okay "X" that... More like 30 pounds and literally NONE of my pants fit... so I would say gift certificates to get new pairs of jeans, dress pants, and kakis
My Cd/MP3 player in my car has been broken for over a year now (the one that came in the car... the factory one) I'd like a new one with an AUX port and a USB plug
I would like to get some new canvas(es)-blank because I'm almost finished with the BIG illustration that I've been working on for almost a year. I'm not sure what size(s) just yet though? I'm not to that point yet. But bigger than the 11x16 sizes.

More than anything I just don't want to spend this hypothetical "BIG" birthday alone. I hope I'm not asking too much?

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Woke up this morning feeling a little low...

For some reason I've been thinking a lot about a conversation that I had with someone last Saturday. To be totally honest... it's made me want to cry since we've had it. I'm talking a "not" good cry.

I've been praying for my future husband now for a while. Not that I am complaining about God's timing, because I know that he's still working things out for him and I to be together. We're not ready yet for one another. This is not the reason for my post.

In this conversation, this person said that when they are thinking about dating someone that they look at the person of interest's background. As in what their parents do, if the parent's have a relationship with Jesus Christ (or not), how their siblings play a role in their life (if they had any), the parent's role at introducing Christ to this person of interest as well as the parent's involvement in the church; THEN does this person look at the person of interest's relationship with Jesus Christ, church activity, life styles, education and blah blah blah. This person lost me at the fact that they look at the parent's first to even consider the possibility of dating someone that I vaguely remember the rest of the conversation.

This really HURT!!! Obviously since I'm blogging about it now.... 5 days later.

I know my life is so FARRRRRR from perfect that if I even tried to match up to this person's standards I'd be so far buried in the mud, that I would be magma that is within the earth's core. Not that this person was of ANY interest to myself.

It just makes me wonder sometimes what "guys" actually see when they look at me and ONLY me (not my family)? My family has been shattered since the passing of my mom, and it only seems to be getting worse. From this conversation I had with this person, I am NOT encouraged but as well I am NOT enlightened on the dating aspect with anybody. I hope I don't seem to be "shattered" as well. I know who my sovereign King is. He is my one true God. He is etched within my very heart and is my one true identity.

I know and understand that we all have "standards," but seriously.... this is this person's?

I'm going to repost qualities that I have for the man of my dreams from my blog post on June 10, 2011. As well this is the scripture that I am continually praying over him and for our future so that we are blessings to each other:

Romans 1:8-12

I thank my God through Jesus Christ for you, because your faith is proclaimed in all the world. For God is my witness, whom I serve with my spirit in the gospel of his Son, that without ceasing I mention you always in my prayers, asking that somehow by God's will I may now at last succeed in coming to you. For I long to see you, that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you—that is, that we may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith, both yours and mine.

The Dream Man of Mine:
First and foremost he's got to know the Lord as his Savior & not just "know of the Lord." They need to walk together daily.
I want him to love me for being me, imperfections and all
He's got to be a man of character
Has dignity
Has his own personality
Is educated
Loves music- BOUNS if he can sing and play an instrument (guitar or piano)
Likes to cook- so we can cook together
Is older than me
Taller than me
Doesn't drink to get drunk but is a social drinker
Does NOT smoke (anything)
Has big hands- i.e. to hold me firmly but softly and to make me feel safe
Loves to read, camp, explore, drive
He loves to travel
Lives and outwardly focused life
Loves to volunteer in the community
Willing to pray with me and for others
Has goals in his life and things he would like to achieve with his wife.... me
Wants kids either biologically or adopted
Will challenge me daily to be a better person, woman, and Christian
A man who will lead me
A man who dresses nice but who can rock out wearing a T-shirt, plaid shorts and sandals
A man who will want to rip my clothes off of me every time he sees me, but respects me enough to keep that for our private times
A man who is close to his family, but knows when to be his own person without them
Who loves coffee
Who's a hopeless romantic
A man who inspires me
Loves to laugh and joke around
Wants to go on mission trips together
A man who can handle my overly dramatic family
Who dreams about me
Who prays for me even though we haven't met yet
Who takes challenges head on and doesn't run from them
Who is supportive of my dreams and goals
Who will make me breakfast in bed and spend the whole day laying around with me when I am sick
Someone who is willing to be late to work just to make me smile before he leaves
Someone who is willing to take a scenic route home just to see the sights and to spend more time with me
Who holds my face while he kisses me
Who sees me in his future

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Rounds of 3

I have been literally hit with a TON of emotions in the last 2 weeks. And quite frankly I am tired of it!!!!! So here I am, sitting at Miami Middletown's cafe area, unloading these things that are weighing on my mind.

1- To start the chain reaction effect was my car accident on the 26th of August. Which has been a HUGE nightmare!!! But alas, things are starting to roll in my favor. I was not cited for the accident, because I did not cause the accident. The woman who was apparently tried to appeal the citation that was issued to her last Thursday, September 1, 2011 in Area 1 court (which is in Oxford). Deputy Maxwell was there to make sure to say that the accident was her fault 100%. Because the Ohio Law #4513.31 states that ALL loads have to be properly secured in the bed or trailer the vehicle is carrying, and if anything should fall off and cause an accident the driver/owner of what ever falls is 100% liable for any reactions to it falling off the bed or trailer. ~So that's about 75% done- thank God!!!~

2 - Next, I get to work Monday right after class feeling great! Ready to go to work. About a half hour to a hour after I had clocked in this weird thing started happening to my belly. I felt the urge to go pee then like 2-4 seconds after that feeling I felt this explosion go off in my bladder. Which made me wince in pain as well as double over. Needless to say after talking with my rocking manager Jessica Feliwok I left work and went straight to Urgent Care at Bridgewater Falls (on the other side of the parking lot) to sit, and sit, and sit, and sit some more for like 3 hours. My friend Amanda Harmon was there because she was ill too, but we talked and caught up. Not really a good way to reconnect with someone. Mean time my pain levels were CLIMBING!!!! When I left work at Chick-fil-a my pain level was more-less a 5-6 (pain scale 1 (little to no pain)- 10(full blown in pain-call 911)) , by time I got back to see the doctor my pain level was like a 15!!! He did a urine analysis, and yes there was blood in my urine (it still looked yellow to me?). When he came into the room to talk to me, I was sitting in the chair (in an odd postion), he said very compassionately that I had a Kidney Stone. I lost it!! I can't deal with one more thing on my plate!!! When he went to feel my side that I was babying and BARELY touched me I went through the roof!!! HURT!!!! LOTS AND LOTS OF UNIMAGINABLE PAIN!!!! He gave me a shot of 60 mg Toradol in my right hip and wrote me script for 10 mg for the pain. Dad had to come and get me b/c I was in no shape to drive.

When dad picked me up he seemed really bothered by me asking him to come and get me from Urgent Care as well as stopping off at the pharmacy to get my pain med's filled. So when I got home I pretty much "owned" the bathroom b/c I had to pee!! But I couldn't go!!!! After the pain level grew to a 20-25.... pushing a 30 I gave up and was looking for someone to take me to the ER. I wasn't about to ask my dad or my brother because of the reactions I got from picking me up at Urgent Care, and they were also working on Tim's car. I had called everyone.... texted people too.... Finally my sister Savannah came to get me and she took me to McCullough-Hyde Memorial Hospital. LOVE HER!!!! When we got there, I only had to wait like 5 minutes!!! So THANKFUL!!!! We get to the room and the nurse who did my triage was my nurse in the back (in the ER still). She was great as well, though I don't remember her name? They first get a CT scan of my belly to see what they were actually dealing with. Then came the good stuff!!! I was IVed up to some Saline Solution as well I got my first dose of Diloted. I've had this before, it's great!!! However- when I got it, or should I say after I got it, I was still in pain. So they gave me another dose of it plus another 20 mg of Toradol. I was feeling good by then!!! Got the results of my CT scan, I had a 2 mm kidney stone and 2 and something else was enlarged from that kidney stone being there. I push my button again to ask for another thing shot of pain med's b/c my pain levels were like riding a roller coaster... going up and down, up and down... By then I had gone pee A LOT but still had the stupid stone in my belly (obviously if I was still hurting). But by then I wanted to go home, and my sister had left me at about midnight b/c she had to be back there at 4 AM (she works at this hospital) so I had to call my brother to come and get me. So they write me two scripts one for pain and the other to help break up this stone.

I got home at about 1:30ish AM. Went pee and to bed. At about 5 AM I felt A LOT of pain in my lower belly and a sudden urge to pee. When I was done using the bathroom, I noticed that I wasn't in ANY pain any longer!!!! I had passed that darn kidney stone!!! And went back to bed.

3 - I had gotten up Tuesday morning at about 10 AM, still a little dazed from all the medication my body just received from being in the hospital all night to find out that a good friend had passed away. Staci Spaulding and I worked at (then) Paramount's Kings Island for 2 years together. But most importantly we were friends in high school and had graduated together. She had suffered from brain aneurysm around 3 AM that morning, and had passed away from it. She was 29 years old.

I'm still in total shock and it has been 3 days since I found out. I understand the emotions that I'm feeling, a little too, well. But I still can make any sense from it?

Staci was a lively woman!!! Always optimistic and a go getter!!! She always had a smile on her face and ready to go help someone when needed. She was one of the many people who were there for me during the time of my car accident back in 1998, our Junior year of high school. She help push me to get better and keep reaching for new strengths (or rather old ones that I lost in the accident). She also, helped me get to and from work at Kings Island for the next summer by driving because I wasn't allowed to get behind the wheel just yet (per mom's rules). I have a lot of other memories with her as well that I just don't have the time right now b/c my next class is starting soon.

Getting back to the emotions, as I sit here and read the thoughts, prayers, and warmest of memories on the wall of I find myself breaking down a little more with each thing that I read. Especially her mom's thoughts of love and a sense of proudness in her daughter, her loving words with her sympathies and sorrows just totally grasps my heart and makes me want to go over to her house and just grab her and hug her so hard!!! But then I remember when my mom died how I couldn't stand it for anyone to touch me. I knew that people cared and wanted to show it, but I just wanted to be left alone. I can only imagine what Traci is feeling. As I am sure she too at some point just wants to be left alone.

Staci's viewing is tomorrow night from 5-8, and her funeral is the following morning at 11. I am able to go to the viewing, but not the funeral. My friend Emily is getting married in New Concord, OH and it's a 3 hour drive, so I have to leave by 11 AM to make it to the wedding. As well, I myself don't do very well at viewings and most of all funerals. I know I'm going to be a mess tomorrow night, but I have no clue how I'm going to react at being in a funeral home once again. I usually just go in pay my condolences and leave. But I can't do that to my friend. I have so much more respect for her than that.

God give all in attendance to Staci's viewing and funeral the strength to bid a dew to a wonderful woman. Let your love permeate throughout the funeral home and into the lives of those who lost just a wonderful daughter, sister, grand-daughter, niece, and friend. Father, we know that you have called Staci home to be with you, but was also know that we will see her again when you return for us. Lord I know you are with us during this time. Please let your grace and peace flow down on to us now.
Amen

As I was typing that little prayer the song, Amazing Grace came over head on the speakers here at Miami Middletown. God I know you are here with us, never leave us. Please!!!

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Prayer for my future husband

I thank God through Jesus for you. That's first. People everywhere keep telling me about your life of faith, and every time I hear them, I thank him. And God, whom I so love to worship and serve by spreading the good news of his Son, knows that every time I think of you in my prayers, which is practically all the time, I ask him to clear the way for me to come and see you. The longer this waiting goes on, the deeper the ache. I so want to be there to deliver God's gift in person and watch you grow stronger right before my eyes! But don't think I'm not expecting to get something out of this, too! You have as much to give me as I do to you. Romans 1:8-12 The Message

Another Translation:

How I thank God through Jesus Christ for you. God knows how often I pray for you. Day and night I bring you and your needs in pray to God, whom I serve with all of my heart… One of the things I always pray for is the opportunity, God willing, to come at last to see you. For I long to visit you so I can share a spiritual blessing with you that will help you grown strong in the Lord. I am eager to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours. In this way, each of us will be a blessing to the other. Romans 1:8-12 Life Application NLT

Friday, September 2, 2011

A Letter from CEO of Starbucks

September 2011

Dear Starbucks Friend and Fellow Citizen:

I love our country. And I am a beneficiary of the promise of America. But today, I am very concerned that at times I do not recognize the America that I love.

Like so many of you, I am deeply disappointed by the pervasive failure of leadership in Washington. And also like you, I am frustrated by our political leaders' steadfast refusal to recognize that, for every day they perpetuate partisan conflict and put ideology over country, America and Americans suffer from the combined effects of paralysis and uncertainty. Americans can't find jobs. Small businesses can't get credit. And the fracturing of consumer confidence continues.

We are better than this.

Three weeks ago, I asked fellow business leaders to join me in urging the President and the Congress to put an end to partisan gridlock and, in its place, to set in motion an upward spiral of confidence. More than 100 business leaders representing American companies - large and small - joined me in signing a two-part pledge:

First, to withhold political campaign contributions until a transparent, comprehensive, bipartisan debt-and-deficit package is reached that honestly, and fairly, sets America on a path to long-term financial health and security. Second, to do all we can to break the cycle of economic uncertainty that grips our country by committing to accelerate investment in jobs and hiring.

In the weeks since then, I have been overwhelmed by the heartfelt stories of Americans from across the country, sharing their anguish over losing hope in the strongest and most galvanizing force of all - the American Dream. Some feel they have no voice. Others feel they no longer matter. And many feel they have been left behind.

We cannot let this stand.

Please join other concerned Americans and me on a national call-in conversation on Tuesday September 6th hosted by "No Labels," a nonpartisan organization dedicated to fostering cooperative and more effective government. To learn more about the forum and the pledges, visit www.upwardspiral2011.org

America is at a fragile and critical moment in its history. We must restore hope in the American Dream. We must celebrate all that America stands for around the world. And while our Founding Fathers recognized the constructive value of political debate, we must send the message to today's elected officials in a civil, respectful voice they hear and understand, that the time to put citizenship ahead of partisanship is now.

Yours is the voice that can help ignite the contagious upward spiral of confidence that our country desperately needs.

With great respect,

Howard Schultz

chief executive officer, Starbucks Coffee Company

Thursday, September 1, 2011

I hope and pray that this helps my case.....

Ohio: State Highway Patrol, Columbus, OH. 614-466-4056.

§4513.31 All loads to be properly secured.

No vehicle shall be driven or moved on any highway unless the vehicle is so constructed, loaded, or covered as to prevent any of its load from dropping, sifting, leaking or otherwise escaping therefrom, except that sand or other substances may be dropped for the purpose of securing traction, or water or other substance may be sprinkled on a roadway in cleaning or maintaining the roadway.

Except for a farm vehicle used to transport agricultural produce or agricultural production materials or a rubbish vehicle in the process of acquiring its load, no vehicle loaded with garbage, swill, cans, bottles, waste paper, ashes, refuse, trash, rubbish, waste, wire, paper, cartons, boxes, glass, solid waste or any other material of an unsanitary nature that is susceptible to blowing or bouncing from a moving vehicle shall be driven or moved on any highway unless the load is covered with a sufficient cover to prevent the load or any part of the load from spilling onto the highway.

Whoever violates this section shall be punished as provided in section 4513.99 of the Revised Code.

§ 4513.99. Penalties.
(A) Any violation of section 4513.03, 4513.04, 4513.05, 4513.06, 4513.07, 4513.071, 4513.09, 4513.10, 4513.11, 4513.111, 4513.12, 4513.13, 4513.14, 4513.15, 4513.16, 4513.17, 4513.171, 4513.18, 4513.182, 4513.19, 4513.20, 4513.201, 4513.202, 4513.21, 4513.22, 4513.23, 4513.24, 4513.242, 4513.25, 4513.26, 4513.27, 4513.28, 4513.29, 4513.30, 4513.31, 4513.32, or 4513.34 of the Revised Code shall be punished under division (B) of this section.

(B) Whoever violates the sections of this chapter that are specifically required to be punished under this division, or any provision of sections 4513.03 to 4513.262 or 4513.27 to 4513.37 of the Revised Code for which violation no penalty is otherwise provided, is guilty of a minor misdemeanor on a first offense; on a second offense within one year after the first offense, the person is guilty of a misdemeanor of the fourth degree; on each subsequent offense within one year after the first offense, the person is guilty of a misdemeanor of the third degree.