I started at the "Art Forum Inc." in the fall of 2003. This was by far the hardest endeavor that I have experienced. Not only did I have issues with my course work, but also my living situation was not the best. My first two roommates were nightmares. Every night I would come home to a “trial” of life, with them both questioning everything I am and what/who I believed in. These two 18 year olds thought they knew everything there was to living on their own. Me, 21 almost 22, had lived on my own for 2 to 3 years already. So, just imagine what these nights looked like when they badgered me. But that is not the reason for my paper, so I digress.
I graduated form the "Art Forum Inc." with my Associate’s in Graphic Design. I was not your “A+” student, however I was your average B-C student. When I was first looking at attending this school they specifically told me, “they help their graduated students find employment with in the graphic design field.” This was not true by any stretch of the imagination. I spent years applying, searching, and interviewing for jobs. No potential job leads were ever given to me, but rather a weekly email with links listed as to what was made available to the school’s secretary. I got these emailed to me via a search engine that both he and I were registered with. This was no help. The school has leads for their favorite students; I was not one of them. I know this now for a fact.
I had a hint back when I was a student there that they showed biasness, rather a specific person did, towards certain students. Last night I ran into an acquaintance that I had befriended while I attended this school. She and I spoke about how some of the things were done while I attended there. She told me how the president, Mr. Brock, “asked” the teachers if they would have a problem lowering a grade on a student’s art work so that the student would fail out. She told me how Mr. Brock and his son in-law, who also works in this "school," would sit and calculate a student’s grades so that Mr. Brock could kick them out.
Proving my point was when I had Mr. Brock for a drawing class on developing a book cover. I went to talk with him everyday about the class assignment to make sure that I did exactly what he wanted. Each time we would sit and talk he changed his mind on what he wanted me to do. Finally, fed up and really confused on what was being asked of me I brought a tape recorder with me to talk with him. He refused to talk to me when I had the recorder. He failed me, telling me that I did not do what he asked of me. This same marker rendering I took with me to the next level class. I ended up painting a picture for the main picture for the cover of this book. I scanned it into the computer and did this:
The instructor I had for this part of the project gave me a B on my work.
Finding out this information that this college was based on popularity makes me question myself as an artist, question my abilities in creating anything that should be or can be aesthetically pleasing to a person’s eye. I have been wondering about what others would think if they knew that the first college that I attended was a complete joke? Would they think that I am a joke, or a “wanna” be? I have a piece a paper hanging on my bedroom wall that cost me more than $50,000’s, I am now wanting to burn and I have a so-called portfolio that I thought I could stand on but now I feel as if it is just refrigerator art for mom to hang and throw away when it gets gross. Now, I question everything. The things that I am tremendously passionate about I now find myself questioning if I am even good at it.
I am sure that this is a grieving period that I am going to have to go through. But it is very sad that everything I have done, and claim to profess about my work I now question.
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