Friday, July 29, 2011

My Brain's Constipation

Okay I have been thinking about posting a blog about everything that's "floating" around in this head of mine. But I have no clue how to organize my thoughts.... so this is my brain totally pooping out in this...

Yesterday at work I totally had like 4-5 anxiety attacks!!! I am insanely busy!!! And I know this, but as well I have had like 4 of my really good friends tell me that I am, and that is sad. With me having work at Chick-fil-a (which is totally amazingly wonderful), with my 2 classes that I am in now (Educational Psychology and Theatre), trying to work my small business, as well still trying to stay committed to the out reach that I have vest at least 3 years of my life too (the Good Samaritan Run aka Good Sam Run). I miss all of my friends that both serve on the team as well with friends that we serve.

How busy am I? For example, I had to get stuff done at school (Miami University-Hamilton) when I got off of work the other day I had every intention of leaving work and going to school to get things done. However, I found myself driving home… for what? I have NO FREAKING CLUE!!!! What did I do? Change my clothes (that I had in my car ready to change into at work), and left again like 15 minutes later for Miami University-Hamilton. Pointless right? I know!!! I feel space less, yet everything that I am dealing with RIGHT now is going in one million different directions at the same time.

I am finding it extremely hard to focus on any one specific thing. I feel like my thoughts are like a wild loin that is exceedingly hard to train. Or it’s like my thoughts are on the Fortune 500 racetrack with like 100 other racecars competing for first place. ARGH!!!

I know what needs to get done…. But where do I even begin? I know, I know, I know “at the beginning” but where is that at?

For example… I have a paper do in my Theatre class next Wednesday and this paper has specifics. The rubric is very detailed in what has to be in the paper. Each paragraph is pretty much written out as to what is to be written in it (but in our words based on a local performance we went to) as well a word minimum and maximum (700-800). I started the paper a few days ago… and totally worked on the rest of it today (yes, with my thoughts going everywhere in my mind) and finished it. However my word count is 917…. 117 words OVER limit.

As well, tomorrow I am going to King Library in Oxford, Ohio to work “solely” on my Ed Psych project. And I have to seriously rock this out. On my mid-term I got a D… Not good at all. So the reason why I need to rock this out is because if I do well on my project (due Tuesday) and on my final exam (on Thursday at 4 PM), she will sorta “weigh” the two good (I’m praying they turn out to bee) things against the bad mid-term. So I gotta do it as best as I can.

3 of my classmates, who I have been paired with in my Theatre class, have to do our final performance together on Wednesday, which is a huge part of our final exam. The 4 of us have written a short 15-minute (I hope it’s that long) skit that we have to act out ourselves. On Sunday I have church in the morning (can’t wait to get recharged) then at 2PM the other 3 are meeting up with me at church so we can practice afterwards. I am a little scared because it is 3 guys (Leu, Bobby, and Caleb) and me (the only female). I am playing 2 different girls in my skit…. Meaning I have change my clothes for each 4 scenes with only a minute in between scene changes…. I’m figuring that I’ll wear the same black bottoms and throw on a different skirt for the last two scenes? I’m not even sure?

Like I said insane!!! And that’s just next 6 days!!!!

God please help me? Please?

Friday, June 10, 2011

The Dream Man of Mine

First and foremost he's got to know the Lord as his Savior & not just "know of the Lord." They need to walk together daily.
I want to love me for being me, imperfections and all
He's got to be a man of character
Has dignity
Has his own personality
Is educated
Loves music- BOUNS if he can sing and play an instrument (guitar or piano)
Likes to cook- so we can cook together
Is older than me
Taller than me
Doesn't drink to get drunk but is a social drinker
Does NOT smoke (anything)
Has big hands- i.e. to hold me firmly but softly and to make me feel safe
Loves to read, camp, explore, drive
He loves to travel
Lives and outwardly focused life
Loves to volunteer in the community
Willing to pray with me and for others
Has goals in his life and things he would like to achieve with his wife.... me
Wants kids either biologically or adopted
Will challenge me daily to be a better person, woman, and Christian
A man who will lead me
A man who dresses nice but who can rock out wearing a T-shirt, plaid shorts and sandals
A man who will want to rip my clothes off of me every time he sees me, but respects me enough to keep that for our private times
A man who is close to his family, but knows when to be his own person without them
Who loves coffee
Who's a hopeless romantic
A man who inspires me
Loves to laugh and joke around
Wants to go on mission trips together
A man who can handle my overly dramatic family
Who dreams about me
Who prays for me even though we haven't met yet
Who takes challenges head on and doesn't run from them
Who is supportive of my dreams and goals
Who will make me breakfast in bed and spend the whole day laying around with me when I am sick
Someone who is willing to be late to work just to make me smile before he leaves
Someone who is willing to take a scenic route home just to see the sights and to spend more time with me
Who holds my face while he kisses me
Who sees me in his future

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

What about it?

So I am coming to an end of my 1st year back in college, since I graduated with my first degree in Advertising Art. It is TOTALLY 100% different then my time at The School of Advertising Art!!! Better or worse? Depends on how one looks at it. I enjoyed my time at SAA, a lot, however I did not enjoy the drama from fellow students (ie: roommates, specific classmates, and a specific instructor). Miami is TOTALLY different when drama happens, it's because a instructor suddenly retires in the middle of the quarter, or I forget to schedule a test with ODS (Office of Disability for Students).

In switching from a total artistic based college into a university there are not subtle differences. There are GINORMOUS differences!!!! One thing I wished SAA had were math courses. Now, I know they did not need to have them because they are not a four year college, but a two year. However it would have been extremely helpful.

The one noticeable difference is the job placement and how the student services of each school works with each individual student. I feel that SAA picks and chooses students they want to help get further along in the graphic design field. Where as Miami actually helps each individual student get a job to either help them along while they are in school at Miami, or when they get out help them to obtain a job in the career that they studied at Miami. Whether it be in an actual job or in an internship.

Well.... this class is over now (last day of classes) I'll type more later....

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Boycotting Family Party- rant

Okay- A LOT has happened within my family.... and now my name is "Mud" as in mud you walk through when it rains and you wash it off your feet or shoes when you get to where you are going. Because of what took place last December (2010) I will not be "joining" the Birkenshaw clan for their Easter activities. Nor do I have any desire to hear any of their voices about anything. Nor do I wish to see specific people, or even care to talk with them.

I have some time to actually think if I will ever go to another family function. But as of right now... I really could absolutely care less about seeing them.

If they wish to actually want to know me and see where I am, they can contact me and schedule something with me. But I seriously doubt that they will. I am not holding my breath.

Yes, this is sad, but they lost all respect from me at the end of last year when they told me about "who I was" as a person. They don't know me, they don't talk to me, and I'm not going out of my way to let them get to know me. I've got so much going on in my life right now, that IF they want to be in my life they will have to make an attempt to be in my life and not just at family parties. Where everyone is fake as it is.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Ohio Senate Bill 5

My experience with unions as a teenager was not a good one. At the time I did not understand what they were, let alone saw the good that they do. Now, as a working adult I see the good that they do, or try to accomplish, on a regular basis. Unions make working conditions safer and fare to employees. The unions are bargain based, meaning they want opinions and different views to collectively make decisions on what is best for the company and their employees they represent. SB 5 would seriously limit the bargaining rights of union workers, and threatens termination of those workers who choose to strike. (Phillips-Sandy, Par 5) Before I get started on all the bad that OH SB 5 is and will cause, I want to define what worker unions are and what they have actually done for the Ohio population in the past. A workers union is made up of many people, not just one person over seeing a job. Rather a team. If someone has an issue with the way administrators or managers try to manipulate their employee’s contracts, the employees can refer to their contract to see specific parameters of their rights as an employee. As long as the administrator/manager and employee stay within the parameter, there should be no issue. If they still have questions about it they can address it at a union meeting, where different matters of the work place is discussed, contracts are negotiated, and new by-laws for the contracts are written. With a union there are processes to get things done. As well, there is a security that the union member will not be let go because of “he said/she said” drama that goes on in an everyday work place. Collective bargaining is what the union is there to help keep things working in the business manner. Contracts, hours, pay wages, working conditions are bargained. As well as who is who in the union; union president, chair holders, outflow of funds are all-apart of a voting system of the union members. (Sayles and Strauss, pg 6) The Ohio Senate Bill 5 should not be passed because it allows unfair job termination and hinders hiring qualified people, loss of wages for not only limited to firefighters, police officers, and school district employees, as well as it negatively affects health insurance.

If the SB 5 does in fact pass into law this will dramatically affect about 350,000 firefighters, police officers, teachers, and other public employees all over the State of Ohio. (“Ohio Senate Bill 5 Passes, Restricting Unions,” Par 2) Sen. Shannon Jones is the woman who is sponsoring this bill, and is supporting this bill because she thinks that it will help Ohio save money. This it will cost the men and women of Ohio to be more in debt because the cost of living is so high now, more than it has been in the past. Danny Pride says in an article written by Rozborli that it is unfair that states that are doing away with unions should have to sacrifice bargaining rights while other large businesses get government bailouts for their own financial mistakes. Pride goes on to say that the Working Class shouldn’t carry the weight of the predicament that is going on with Wall Street. (Rozborli, Par 1 and 2) Union workers are considered to be middle class employees. It is because of unions that the middle class has the health care coverage they have, and make the money that they make. With out the union health insurance will quite literally rob us of the time that we spend with our loved ones. It robs us because we will need to work more to be able to afford the coverage as well as put food on our tables. SB 5 will extinguish the middle class leaving only the upper class, and low class workers.

Wages will be drastically cut and all in all kills the job market. How can you “stimulate” the economy when SB 5 seriously makes getting a job with a former union based company an insult to work for with out competitive pay rates? There will no longer be contracts drawn up, so no negotiations; there for strikes will no longer be. But if there is strikes SB 5 makes a threat to those who are thinking about going on strike; percentages of up to twice an employee’ daily pay for each day they are on strike, fines, suspension, automatic termination and possibility of jail time. (Am. Sub. S. B. No. 5., P 251) and (Breaking down Ohio Senate Bill 5, Par 12) Is it not our right as United States Americans to have freedom of speech when we feel that we are being wronged or cheated out of what we think we should be paid (or have been paid in the past for the same job), or because of the conditions we are working in? These kind of repercussions because a man or woman is voicing their opinions and standing for what they believe is right is down right wrong.

Future pay increases will solely be based on merit if SB 5 becomes law. So if Mrs. Jones works for a union company for 20 years her pay raises will not be based on how long she has been there. Her pay will solely based on how well she performs her job. If she is a teacher it will be based on how well her students test on the State Exams. In some ways that is fare but in other’s like on a city official’s pay scale how can one determine his or her “merits?” Sen. Michael Skinkell asks this same question, "So on a police officer, what is merit based pay? Is it the number of tickets they write? So if a police officer writes more tickets they get a higher wage? Is that our merit based pay?" (Breaking down Ohio Senate Bill 5, Par 7) The same question goes for a Firefighter and an EMT, is merit based on the number of lives they save or fires they kill? The merit based pay has too many questions to even begin to think about passing SB 5.
"To ram something through within a few weeks is irresponsible, and to blame the budget woes of the state on the workers is a downright travesty," said Columbus firefighter Terry Marsh (“Ohio Senate Bill 5 Passes, restricting unions”, Par 12). I agree with Mr. Marsh, this Bill was written and quite factually pushed through the Senate. In fact the Republicans pushed to pass it so fast and so hard that the vote was 17-16 (“Ohio Senate Bill 5 Passes, restricting unions”, Par 2). What I heard in the news that they pulled a Democrat that was going to vote against SB 5 out of the room right as they were passing out the ballots, so he did not get to vote tying the poll. Who is looking out for whom now in the work place? It is really sad when 9 year old students understand what this means for their favorite teacher. Dawn Hunley’s son, Mike and his best friend Ty joined in with the picketers in Columbus, OH on March 8th. They told the reporter, "We're here for our teacher," Mike said. "And not just for the rich," Ty added. "They want us all to grow up poor," they both said. Mike’s mom had it right when she stated that the two boys would be apart of history, because they are helping to make it. What is even sadder is the boys wanted to be there. Mike and Ty understood that SB 5 is damage to everyone. (Bostick, Par 8 and 9)

Unfortunately, in the process of writing this argument the OH SB 5 went to the House of Ohio Representatives and passed into law. On Thursday, March 31, 2011 at 7: 19 P.M. Gov. John Kasich signed the bill. The protestors in front of the Statehouse said that it revokes the rights of what Ohioans have been working for and towards for over 20 years. (Bradley, Par 6) If the Ohio Union workers are able to receive enough signatures by the November elections, the issue will appear as a referendum on the Fall 2011 election. Our job now, for all who are opposed to OH SB 5 is to sign the petition. On the article “Kasich signs Senate Bill 5” written by Thomas Bradley, there was a comment at the bottom of the web page by someone anonymous, he said “R.I.P. Ohio -- I will miss you!” Makes a person think that the OH SB 5 is a huge let down to all of the workers that have been striving for so much more in the work place(s).


Works Citied

“Breaking down Ohio Senate Bill 5.” WKBN.com. 2 March 2011. Web. 31 March 2011

“Ohio Senate Bill 5 passes, restricting unions.” CBS News. 2 March 2011. Web. March 10 2011.

Am. Sub. S. B. No. 5. 2011-2012. Print.

Bostick, Bruce. “Ohio Workers shake Capitol in giant SP 5 protest.” People’sworld.org. 14 March 2011. Web. 15 March 2011.

Bradley, Thomas. “Kasich signs Senate Bill 5.” The Lantern. 31 March 2011. Web. 4 April 2011.
Medoff, James. What do unions do?. New York; Basic Books, Inc., 1984.

Rozborli, Robert. “Senate Bill 5 Continues its Controversy.” Neighborhood Voice. 31 March 2011. Web. 1 April 2011.

Sandy-Phillips, Mary. “Ohio SB 5: The Anti-Collective Bargaining Bill Explained” AOL News. 2 March 2011. Web. 28 March 2011.

Sayles, Leonard R. and Strauss, George. The Local Union. Revised Edition. New York; Harcourt, Brace & World, Inc., 1967.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

I am very Successful!!!!

Okay, so here lately I haven't been feeling 100% myself. I know that this will be a season of feeling like this for a time, because I am close the doors of past rejections in my life. Revisiting the "still open & letting bad thoughts enter" rejections. I am someone who is HIGHLY favored and really valued, because I am a child of the one TRUE king, who is my Lord and Savior- God and his son Jesus Christ.

I am a very successful, independent woman!! When I look back at when I was laid off of work in the mid-summer of '08, I felt like a total failure. When my family looked at me, I would get (and sometimes still do) these feelings of failure, not worthy of love, and total rejection.

But in thinking about all the rejection that has happened recently (in the past week) amongst family and friends I have felt like this cloud of total and utter seclusion and rejection hung over me. I really no longer feel the love from my family (not including my father and my brother Tim). Yes- that feeling of how they view my life as a complete waste of time (their's) is there any and EVERY time I speak to them.

Looking back over this past year- I know that I can say that I have been very successful at forming meaningful relationships with many different people from different walks of life. I cherish each and everyone of them as well.

I started my business in late December of 2009, and kicked it off in January of 2010- AND STILL DOING IT!!!! I love it as well!!! I'm so happy to be apart of the Premier Family and be totally valued for simply being WHO I AM!! You know it doesn't matter that a lot of my family think it is a waste of time or think that I don't do anything when I am in fact busy ALL the time with it. It doesn't matter if they want to support me in it either. I mean yeah it would be nice if they did, but seriously... it really doesn't matter.

I am back in college FULL TIME and on the DEAN'S LIST for the first time in my life ever!!! As well with working part time at an amazing fast food place; Chick-Fil-A!!!

I am VERY SUCCESSFUL!!! Now, the question looms about where I am in life and if I am happy. Yes I am very happy!!! And yes, I still have those days where I don't feel like this. Do I know my purpose for life yet? No, I do not. But I can only pray and hope that I will come into my calling that the Lord has on my life soon.

Until I do, I'm going to keep on being me. And if my family thinks that I am a failure at life, let them. But they better think again!!! Because this woman is on the climb to be a very successful woman of Christ.

If they wish to still throw all of my failures that have happened in my face or try to air dirty laundry they have no right having their noses in... I've got news for them. They have 4 fingers of their own pointing back at them. So before you or they speak THINK about what to say. In the end it will be them making a fool out of themselves, and not out of me.

I'm not perfect and I will not ever be. But you know where I am weak I know that my God is a lot stronger and he will see me through that area, chapter, season of my life.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

What is a friend?

-Sweet Friendship-

Friendship is an art. We all know the satisfaction and benefits of good friendships. There is a real security in having a good friend. We also know that people who seem to be friends sometimes betray us, and disappoint us. They are not true friends in the end

While our emphasis seems to be on having friends, the truth is that in order to have friends, we first must be a friend. And so we each need to learn the art of being a friend.

Proverbs 17:17 tells us, "A friend loves at all times." This means that a friend continues to love, and to show his or her love, whatever the circumstances. A friend is one who knows you and still loves you. A true friend helps you when your need is great.

Friendship is love expressed in acceptance of another person. It is consistent. It is being the one person someone else can count on.

This was yesterday's daily devotional.